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01 May 2016 @ 03:22 pm
Day 006:
DAILY GOALS: clean apartment
1:25pm: My weight flucates so much day to day. But, today is going well. It's 1:30 and I've already toned my roots, drink water, checked in here, walked 2800 steps on the treadmill, and written my to-do list. I'm excited because Chris and I are having Wilhagan's hot wings tonight. Low carb and yummy. Mmm.
Next Day: Cleaned up the entire apartment, walked 6k steps (so close!!), started weight_comp and did everything on my to-do list. Was a good day.

Ate: three slices of bacon, one cheese egg, hot wings, celery, ranch,
Drank: water, jack and coke, shot of jack.
Exercised: walked 6780 steps.
Weight: 206.5
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
17 April 2016 @ 12:32 am
Can't sleep. This week I ate carbs. A lot of carbs. Not really sure why. Maybe I'm stressed. Maybe there's no reason or excuse and I just need to get back on schedule. I honestly feel like deep down, I don't think I can lose the weight. Sure, I can post in this journal once or twice a week but can I actually lose weight? Is it even possible? It wasn't when I was 20 so why would it be when I'm almost 30. This is a depressing entry and I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way. I've been in a funk lately. My State Farm check came back wrong so I had to send it back and now I'm still waiting to pay my bill to Kia. My Firestone credit card went to collections. My money issues just have me really down right now. And I feel guilty over them. And not being able to stick to a plan. And then my computer broke so I went out and bought a used one which makes me feel guilty again. But I am trying to use the computer to make money for myself. But instead it just costs me more money. I'm frustrated.

Anyway. Forgot to post weigh in this week. It was like 204 or something which didn't surprise me.

I need to start drinking lemon water with cayenne pepper. And green tea. Also I have very poor circulation which I should probably work on that.

Weight: 204(?)
07 April 2016 @ 09:23 am
Weigh in Thursday made me happy once again: 202. Today I have 4 hours of training at work then returning my car to Enterprise and maybe some other errands. The last two days I've gotten into the bad habit of trying to stay awake by drinking half a Coke real fast. I keep getting sleepy at 6pm. I guess I should go with it. My body used to do a similar thing when Chris worked at Memphis Pizza Cafe and I worked at Sephora. I'd go to his place, take a nap, wake up for a couple of hours to hang out with him, then fall back asleep.

Chris and I need to get our schedules in order or else my sleeping schedule will be insane.

Anyway, focus today is arm work outs and core exercises. I've grown to really like my belly but my core strength is shit.

Weight: 202

Edit: Did some obsessive calculating. I've gained exactly 30 lbs in 3 years in between posts. I've gained 46 lbs in all between 2010-2016. And I've lost 10 lbs in 6 months. My highest weight was 212 on October 11th, 2015. This info was all figured out between my Health app, my Argus app, and this journal. My lowest recorded was 164.5 on October 5th, 2010.

I don't know. I'm happy that I'm 202. And I'm close to getting into the 190's again. But what is going to make me keep losing weight? The evidence is damning that I fluctuate a lot and gain very easily and give up just as easily. Hopefully I can keep losing weight in a steady way or else I will most likely give up and gain 10 lbs again. I'm scared that I'll be 250 or 300 in the next few years if I don't lose this weight now.
30 March 2016 @ 09:14 am
This week has been going a lot better than the previous weeks. I have been slacking on the water which has caused me morning headaches. Which, in a way, is good. It keeps me accountable. Saturday was the first and only time that I finally reached my steps goal of 8k. The next day I felt almost crippled again though. Luckily I'm taking my medicine but if I hadn't, I would have been screwed. I also visited my family for Easter the next day.

Idk. Not much to update about. I'm eating fairly low carb. Eating small portions. Not counting calories. Working both jobs until next week when I won't be at Sephora anymore. I'm getting 4-5k steps in at work on average but I doubt I will get more than 2k in at the spa. I'll have to wake up early and go for a walk.

Weight: 204
19 September 2010 @ 01:25 pm
Weight Loss Friends Only!
Please no "pro-ana" people.